Marylebone Cricket Club, London NW8 (0171-289 1611)OLD TRAFFORDEven before Manchester United won the Premiership last maps Sunday, this tour was fiendishly maps popular - have you ever tried getting through on the phone? The visit htm - which occasionally features glimpses of the players - includes htm the club museum which now has the gleaming Premiership trophy in pride of place. Visitors see the Compton and Edrich Stands, the Indoor School, htm the Nursery and the Long Room, as well as dropping in on the museum, which houses the original Ashes. 150 Edmiston Drive, htm Glasgow G51 2XD (0141-427 8500)LORD'STours are held daily at 12noon and 2pm (and 10am on match days). If they have any energy left over, they will be shown round the home dressing room (when available), the players' tunnel, the Club Deck and the Blue Room. True blue fans will be htm delighted to hear that Rangers crisps and Rangers chocolate are on sale. Upper Norwood, London SE19 2BL (0181-778 9876)IBROX STADIUMVisitors will be given a souvenir pack on arrival and maps then treated to a tour of the Trophy Room. As well as a guided tour which includes a free maps swim, you can book additional activities such as squash, badminton, five-a-side football, tennis, netball, volleyball and basketball, or specialised coaching in athletics, football, basketball, diving, maps hockey, swimming, tennis and trampolining.

The leaflet for the tour also promises, Mystic Meg-like, "plans for the future". PO Box 22, Cardiff CF1 1JL (01222 390111)CRYSTAL PALACE SPORTS CENTRECome to the impressive indoor swimming-pool and the track where Linford Christie has had many of his best British runs (and worn some of his most garish outfits). Ascot, Berkshire SL5 7JN (01344 876876)CARDIFF ARMS PARKTouted as "the place where history is made", the Welsh Rugby Union guided tour offers visits to the pitch, the changing-rooms, the tunnel, the fitness room and the trophy room (probably not too over-stocked at present).

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They also drop in on the commentators' box, the jockeys' changing-room, the main weighing-room, and (if available) the Royal Box Preposterous hats are not required. Avenell Rd, London N5 1BU (0171- 226 0304)ASCOT RACECOURSEVisitors by appointment are shown the various enclosures and explained the difference between the Silver Ring, the Grandstand, the Summer Paddock and the Members'. Fans of Ian Wright's extraordinary new hair-do are warned that the players do not train at Highbury and that they are only likely to meet them if they are in for treatment. ALFRED MCALPINE STADIUM Tours of this dramatic, futuristic stadium can be arranged by appointment on extension 2242.

It won the 1995 Riba Award for Building of the Year, and the tour of the home of Huddersfield Town FC and Huddersfield RL is said to be particularly popular with construction and architecture students Energetic visitors can also use the golf range on site. Stadium Way, Huddersfield HD1 6PG (01484 450000) ARSENAL STADIUMThe tour which hopes to dispel the tag of "boring Arsenal" includes the dressing rooms (if available) and the Arsenal Museum, situated in the North Bank Stand and said to be attended sometimes by the legendary Charlie George. Captain HBT Wakelam - the inventor of the square-plan for following the game and thus the phrase "back to square one" - has a cut-glass accent so caricatured it would have been rejected as over-the-top for Harry Enfield's Mercury ads. He was given just two words of advice for his commentary: "Don't swear."The long day closes in the RFU shop, where you can buy everything from an England pillow-case to Competence Based Assessment System - Manual for Assessors.As I depart clutching my purchase - a baby's bib proclaiming "Join the Scrum at Twickenham" - the words with which Harris opened the tour jink into my head: "This place used to be known as 'Fortress Twickenham', but it's a bit more pleasant now.". It even smells of Ralgex.You can also listen in to a recording of the first live BBC commentary on any sport: the England vs Wales game from 1927. "Perhaps the architect knew something we didn't," Harris muses. The clock on the wall is always two minutes fast, to make sure that tardy players take the field on time.